One of Barbara Streisand’s famous hits was the tune “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers Anymore” the lyrics of which imply that the romance is over.
People sent flowers for a number of reasons:
1. Special Occasions – Advertising has encouraged us to order delivery of a bouquet for birthdays, anniversaries, Mother’s Day or other celebrations.
2. Tributes – When someone wins an award or has made a significant achievement, flowers are often sent in recognition.
3. Trouble – Illness or death can trigger people to send flowers when they want to show care and concern.
4. Romance – A common way to show someone that you are interested in developing or maintaining a relationship is to send a bouquet.
5. Habit – Some people routinely send a florist delivery or have their administrative assistant do it for them. This might be more to do with the giver wanting to look good than anything.
6. Memories – George Burns arranged for his wife to receive a rose every single day after his death so that she would be reminded that he had loved her.
7. Guilt – Flowers often are used as a way of saying “I’m sorry” or “Forgive me” when a transgression has occurred.
When you are not receiving flowers anymore there could be a number of reasons for this:
1. Finances – Perhaps there just isn’t enough money to pay for them at this time.
2. Memory – People forget or don’t understand how important you feel to be remembered.
3. Values – What is expected by one might not be expected by another.
4. Restrictions – Sometimes flowers are not allowed or welcomed. For example, the ICU will not allow flowers!
5. Fear – The other person might not order flowers because they are worried that you will think they are up to no good.
6. Change – The relationship may be in trouble or the passion might have died.
7. Misunderstandings – Perhaps you gave the impression that you have allergies or don’t like flowers.
If you have measured the health of your relationship by whether you do or do not receive flowers, you are in trouble. It is important to never assume that you know what is happening or that “it’s over” just because you didn’t get a delivery from the florist. The best thing to do is to always have clear and open communication so that you know what is truly happening.
You see it is talking and not the flowers that allow you to know the truth! (Oh, and if it really is over, make sure that you don’t confuse the issue either with silence or by continuing to send flowers because you don’t have the courage to be honest).